he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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