dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize