Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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