If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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