I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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