Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
soo... how was my night?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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