cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
