god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
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Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
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you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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