so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
