Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
