Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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