My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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