he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
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he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
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Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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