We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
