what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I had to cum in my sink.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
