yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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