Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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