You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Can you bring me the toilet please
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
