dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
