i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
