You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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