Is it because I queefed?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
