she looked like the bat from fern gully.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
