I think im going to throw up on grandma
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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