Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My breath smells like gin and sadness
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize