So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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