I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
porn star boner night. come get it.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
why is half of my head shaved?
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