Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I am naked and annoyed.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
