what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
