shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
