Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How drunk are you?