then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
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I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
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You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Randomize
