So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
