we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
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Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again