Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.

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(707): View more from California

My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."

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(916): View more from California

17 year olds will be the death of me.

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(845): View more from New York

it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(520): View more from Arizona

When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.

(1-520): View more from Arizona

Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.

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(623): View more from Arizona

How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?

(1-623): View more from Arizona

You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.

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(409): View more from Texas

Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.

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