Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
