i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
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