i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
