Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
