I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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