How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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