If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize