Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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