is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Randomize
