Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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