There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
