I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Vodka?
Forever.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
