I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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