angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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