im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
