Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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