I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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