He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
