I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
