id be glad to
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
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He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
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Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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