this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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