this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
