the condom got lost in my hair
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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