bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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