Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Randomize
