I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
