That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
