he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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