Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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