We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
