I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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